Most people here in Oz are no doubt looking forward to September because with it brings spring, which means warmer weather, wildflowers (and daffodils - who doesn't love a good daffodil?) and the birth of cutesy baby animals. Then there's the promise of it being just three short months until summer.
Usually I'm on the September bandwagon. BIG time. I've always had good reason to be: it's my 'birthday month'. As soon as the 1st of September hits, I know it's just over two weeks until my 'big day'. I have been known to remind friends and family weeks in advance. I've always loved my birthday (can you tell?), especially when I was younger. My dear Mum in particular always made a big deal of it with the purchase of thoughtful presents, the preparation of my favourite foods and a birthday cake (lovingly baked and decorated with care by her - Mum's cakes were always amazing).
However, it never stopped at just being my birthday month, September is also when my dear Dad was born (his birthday fell just nine days after mine) and my parents celebrated their wedding anniversary just three days before my birthday. (I remember one anniversary dinner held at home - as almost always - where I insisted we eat by candlelight. We spent the first half of dinner peering in to our plates trying to make out what we were eating, until Dad finally announced, 'Bloody hell, I can't see a damn thing. Can we turn the lights back on?')
This year, however, is quite a different story. Although I'm definitely looking forward to the warmer weather September is sure to bring (I'm busting to get back out on my board more often), September isn't ever going to feel the same way it did up until three years ago.
My parents' anniversary date is no longer just that, because three years ago come this September, my dear Dad died on he and Mum's 65th Wedding Anniversary. Then last year, my dear Mum died in September - the day after what would have been Dad's 90th birthday.
So this year in particular, with the 1st anniversary of Mum's death rapidly approaching, I'm feeling somewhat apprehensive about the month of September. I know I'll still celebrate my birthday, but it won't be the same with both parents now gone. (Let me tell you it is weird - weird - when you lose a second parent. Like, you now have to finally be the grown up, you know? There's a feeling of being alone, even if you still have your sibling(s) and/or own family around you.)
However, I also know that this September will be more difficult than those that follow in the years to come. I'll be okay. I just have to get through this one.
*takes a deep breath*