Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Starting afresh

Happy New Year to you.

I'm not really in to New Year's resolutions per se, but I do like to think about what I want to accomplish in a new year as it comes around. I love the idea of starting afresh as the calendar clicks over to the 1st of January each year. It's like closing the door to your old home as you prepare to move in to your new one. You know you'll miss your old home - even if the pipes leaked one time too many, or you outgrew it because you realised you needed more storage space, or space in general - but you also got comfy there, right? You knew every corner of every room. Better the devil you know.

But there's also the excitement you feel about the new place. Time to discover each new room and work out where to find the sunny spots in winter and the shady ones in summer. Besides, you know you'll always have the memories you created while living in your old home - it will never be forgotten - and the idea of creating new memories in a new home is exciting, right? A fresh start. Everyone loves a fresh start. That's how I feel each time a new year comes around.

Except, that is, for the last three.

Both at the beginning of last year and the year before that, I wrote that I wanted to write more. Yet, I didn't. Not really, anyway. I'm not sure I really believed that I would, to be honest. I just knew I was in for a bit of a tough time and that the distractions of life would keep me from really getting in to my writing. In fact, I distinctly remember going in to 2013 with much trepidation; it was the first time I'd entered a new year convinced it was probably not going to be a good one. It was a feeling I had that I couldn't shake.

Of course, 2013 turned out to be the year my dear dad died, and then the next couple of years I lived with the expectation hanging over my head that the same would soon happen to my dear mum. Just two years and thirteen days later it did.

This New Year's Eve though, I felt the happiest I've felt for three years moving in to a new year. I will miss the good times of last year (including my last real visit with Mum in April before she died in September) but I'm also filled with hope for this year. I'm not closing the door on 2015 hoping never to think about it again. Not at all. The memories will be with me always. I'm just ready for a new year.

So bring on 2016. I know there will be obstacles, like every year, but I'm ready, and confident it really will include more writing this year.


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Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts. J xox